December Justice
By Lisbeth L. McCarty

Author’s Note: This poem is written with respect for and apologies to decent prosecutors everywhere.

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the court

All the lawyers were stirring with last-minute work.

The judge was all robed and seated in his chair

In hopes that the lawyers would all be prepared.

The prosecutor performed the voir dire with great care

In hopes that jurors would give the defendant “The Chair.”

The prisoners were nestled, all snug in their chains

With visions of freedom dancing through their brains.

But the one jolly defendant who was named Mr. Claus

Claimed innocence with such vigor that it gave them all pause.

Then, the prosecutor jumped up and stated real quick,

“This bum, who goes by an alias, St. Nick,

Was breaking and entering through the roof of a house.

He’s guilty as sin! C’mon, fry the louse!

Oh, believe me, dear jurors, his bad deeds are real.

He even took in a bag for the things he would steal!”

As the prosecutor droned on in his “reversible” way,

The jurors were awakened by the sound of a sleigh.

Yes, out on the lawn there arose such a clatter

The spectators rushed out to see what was the matter.

Well, what would their wondering eyes behold

But a company of criminal defense lawyers unfold.

Headed, of course, by Saint Justinian who shouted,

“That prosecutor cannot defeat any of us!”

Itching for action, the lawyers started to squirm

As Justinian commenced with a roll call of the firm,

“Now Hull, now McCoy, now Cinnamon, now McCarty,

Now Purcell, let’s go show them how tough we can be.”

Then Justinian told the judge, “Let’s examine that sack.”

And he dumped out the contents of Mr. Claus’ pack.

Suddenly the floor was filled with great toys

That Mr. Claus was taking to all girls and boys.

“Why, this man wasn’t stealing at all,” said the judge.

“Instead, it’s been proven, his heart’s full of love.”

The jurors applauded as Mr. Claus was released.

The prosecutor turned red and looked at his feet.

Claus said, “Oh, you’ve helped all right, Justinian.

But, how can I pay you? You know I am penniless.”

Then, suddenly Claus brightened and slapped his big belly.

(And, of course, it shook like a bowl full of jelly.)

He reached into his bag while the lawyers waited agog

And pulled out a Best Buy catalogue.

“ “ Order your pleasure, send the bill to the North Pole

In care of dear Santa… And now, I must go.”

The defense lawyers were stunned ‘cause it seemed so bizarre

To be soon owning gifts they’d always admired from afar.

In fact, they were so pleased that they gave Santa their sleigh.

(They all owned defense mobiles, anyway.)

And driving from sight, then shouted Santa Claus,

“Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Justice to All!”

Ms. McCarty is a lawyer with the Oklahoma Indigent Defense System in Norman.