THE OKLAHOMA BAR JOURNAL 12 | JANUARY 2025 Statements or opinions expressed in the Oklahoma Bar Journal are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the Oklahoma Bar Association, its officers, Board of Governors, Board of Editors or staff. OVERVIEW It’s been said, “There are many different ways to skin a cat, but the goal is a naked cat.” Likewise, there are many ways to prepare for and try a family law case, but the following steps will help you get to that naked cat – and may stop your client from wanting to skin the opposing party or their lawyer. A family law case is unique in that the client is typically going through something they never imagined they would face. On their wedding day, they stood before family and friends and recited their vows, believing they were entering a union that would last a lifetime. Instead, for whatever reason, it didn’t, and they have come to you for resolution. Whether this is the person leaving or the person being left, it is painful for them. They are going through a paradigm shift. Their future is going to be far different than what they envisioned. It’s quite uncertain, and no one likes uncertainty. However, as in a quote often attributed to American physicist and inventor Robert Goddard reminds us, “Just remember – when you think all is lost, the future remains.” Many of the clients will feel lost and afraid. For most, it is their first time going through a divorce. The fear and uncertainty of not knowing how the future looks causes people to act in different ways – most of them are not positive. Even worse for the clients is that they are dealing with two of the most important areas of their lives: their kids and their money. This is why you should brace yourself for heightened emotions when dealing with family law clients. BEGIN AT THE END The poet T.S. Eliot wrote, “What we call the end is often the beginning.”1 Actually, the best place to start with a client is at the very end. Begin every initial meeting with a client by asking them to define their ultimate goals. A new client is always quite eager to share their story. Tell them you want to hear everything about the facts of their case, but first, you want to know what end result they would like to achieve. Then, add that by understanding their goals, you can determine which of the facts in the case are helpful, useable and important. By stating this upfront to clients, they will be less inclined to engage in an “information dump.” They will understand that you don’t need to know everything about their situation and that learning what their goals are will help you focus the case. We are counselors to some degree, but we are trained in the law, so the resolution of their legal case is where we must focus. Often, the best thing a family law attorney can do for a client is to refer them to personal counseling, such as a licensed counselor or psychologist. This will not only steer the client to a professional who is better able to help them psychologically deal with their situation but might also save them money. When you ask them to determine their goals, be sure they understand each potential area of their case. For example, if they have minor children, explain the Law Practice Basics The Naked Cat By Allyson Dow and M. Shane Henry Preparing Your Family Law Case for Trial
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