THE OKLAHOMA BAR JOURNAL 14 | JANUARY 2025 Statements or opinions expressed in the Oklahoma Bar Journal are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the Oklahoma Bar Association, its officers, Board of Governors, Board of Editors or staff. your ability to really listen. When they are finished sharing, go back through everything so they can see that you’ve been listening. It will increase their confidence in you, knowing that you understand the facts and where they would like to end up in terms of custody, visitation, child support, asset and debt division and alimony. SET EXPECTATIONS As you review each goal with the client, your next step is to set client expectations. For example, one parent will often ask that the other parent never see the kids again. Absent certain extenuating circumstances, that is not a reasonable expectation under Oklahoma law, so you need to correct those expectations with the client. Different attorneys do this in different ways. Some will confront the client directly. Personally, I like to explain to the client that I don’t make the laws in the state of Oklahoma and sometimes don’t even agree with them, but those are the parameters in which we’re working. Any solutions I can achieve for them will have to be filtered through the statutes and case law. And sometimes, if they keep pushing back, I say: “Look, I agree with you, and I wish the law were that way. So what I need you to do is run for office. Get elected and change the laws. But until then, here is the framework under which we’re going to have to work.” Usually, this backs them down and helps them understand the realities. As you are helping the client set reasonable expectations while reiterating each goal, you should also speak with them about the relevant legal standards and the authorities. This is a critical step. You have shown the client that you have listened to their goals and are helping them set reasonable goals. This reinforces that you care about them and what they have to say. You are also building your credibility by demonstrating that you know and understand the law and want the client to be a part of the process of goal setting and understanding what you’ll be doing together. COMMIT IT TO WRITING Your next step will be to start working on the request for relief. Each of the client’s specific requests should be listed for each area. Ideally, this list should be short and simple – one or two pages. For example, list custody and state precisely what your client is requesting. The request for relief will become your guide throughout the case. In addition, you can draw on it if your client goes off track, wasting money just to prove a point. If that happens, you can help the client refocus by asking, “How is this going to help us achieve one of these goals?” You can also remind them that they are getting ready to spend a lot of time and money on something that is not going to further one of their goals. When you start requesting discovery, your request for relief also helps you guide your case as it becomes the basis for gathering information and tailoring your questions. You may want to offer your client’s request for relief to the judge at the beginning of the trial as an aid to the court by stating that this is what your client will be requesting. Your trial strategy is going to be organized around this request for relief as you seek to show the judge what your client is requesting, why the request should be ordered, what the legal standards are and what facts support the request. Prepare the request for relief as soon as possible because it keeps everyone on the same page. I have tried preparing cases when the request for relief was completed right before trial, but that is a very inefficient and ineffective way to prepare.
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