MARCH 2025 | 35 THE OKLAHOMA BAR JOURNAL away with something they can say, “I can live with this result.” In child custody matters and guardianship cases, there will be ongoing matters of disagreement. It is an excellent idea for parties to learn how to solve problems among themselves rather than needing to have a judge enter orders on every dispute. This seems pretty basic, but as time goes on, other matters will arise that the parties may have disagreements about. You will be doing your client a great service by teaching them skills through mediation: communication, listening and problem-solving. Those skills will serve your client well and, even more, serve the best interests of their child or children. COVER ALL THE BASES Remember to be complete. For example, if parties want to have a holiday visitation schedule that they will agree to yearly, also propose a standard schedule that will control in the event the parties fail to agree on a schedule, and that will be the default schedule for visitation if an agreement is not reached. If there is a request to deviate from guidelines for child support, attach an accurate child support guideline schedule to show the parties’ incomes, the resulting calculation and the parties’ agreed deviation. If you are dividing a pension plan, prepare the appropriate documentation. The goal is to not be back in court, but in the event your client is back in court, have an order that does, in fact, cover all the bases. Would you be surprised that an agreed decree provided for the division of the equity in the marital residence, then three years later, the issue for mediation is how the equity is determined? Do you look at the value three years ago or today? When a decree is silent on essential terms, the issue is more complex than it was originally. CONCLUSION Is every case you take to mediation going to be settled? Probably not. I would imagine, though, that if you take the attitude that mediation is expected to result in a conclusion to the case, many, many of your cases will, in fact, settle. You will save your client time, money and angst. Then, for those that have not settled, almost always, you will have a significantly greater knowledge of both sides of the case, and the information you take with you will lead to further discussions, many of which are likely to lead to settlement. Remember, you can drive how efficiently your case moves forward. Families are in limbo while cases are pending, and you can bring peace to your client through the resolution of the issues. Abraham Lincoln discussed lawyers as peacemakers and described them as good men. Perhaps he lived at a time when he couldn’t envision that women would also be lawyers and good peacemakers. In any event, the topic he was discussing was compromise and the benefits of settlement. I hope you agree with him that there are, indeed, many benefits of bringing your skills as a lawyer and a peacemaker to family law conflicts through mediation. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Judge Jequita H. Napoli is an active retired special judge in Cleveland County. She served as a board member and chair of the Oklahoma Board of Bar Examiners and the National Conference of Bar Examiners. Judge Napoli has spent six years each with the ABA Section of Legal Education Council and its Accreditation Committee. ENDNOTES 1. 43 O.S. §102. 2. 30 O.S. §30 O.S. 2-101. 3. 30 O.S. §30 O.S. 3-115. 4. 12 O.S. §1801 et seq. Statements or opinions expressed in the Oklahoma Bar Journal are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the Oklahoma Bar Association, its officers, Board of Governors, Board of Editors or staff.
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